Discussing Your Wishes with Others

Just as important as documenting your wishes for care is sharing those wishes with your loved ones, those important to you and your health care team.

All of us have a health journey from birth to death, and talking about this issue early when we're healthy is much easier.

Sometimes putting your end-of-life wishes down on paper just isn't enough. Having a trusted advocate who is aware of your preferences is just as important.

Before documenting your wishes, talk with your loved ones or those important to you about your preferences so they're aware of your choices. This should be a two-sided conversation.

You should also have the conversation with your doctor and other members of your health care team.

Resources

Stuck getting started?

For a lot of people, there is fear around talk of death and dying. This can be a very difficult conversation to start — that's why we offer these helpful aids.

Conversation starter guide

This workbook from The Conversation Project can help you get your thoughts together, and then start this important conversation with your loved ones or those you trust.

Download or print

Five Wishes booklet

The Five Wishes booklet is a great resource to help you think about and document your wishes. It includes a power of attorney for healthcare form and a living will.

Request your free copy

Frequently Asked Questions

Advance care planning FAQs

Use the Five Wishes booklet to complete necessary advance care planning documents.

It includes a power of attorney for healthcare on page four and a living will on pages six and seven. Be sure to sign on page 10 and have two people witness your signature (not your health care agent).

Submit the booklet to your primary care doctor or your hospital so it can become part of your shared care plan in your electronic health record.

You should make a copy for yourself as well as family or those most important to you, who may be involved in your health care decision-making process. You should also put a copy in the glove box of your car and in your suitcase when you travel.

Choosing a power of attorney for healthcare is an extremely important decision, as this person will be the one to represent your wishes and choose treatments when you’re unable to speak for yourself. Choose someone 18 years or older that is important to you and that you know will feel comfortable speaking with doctors and others that are a part of your health team.

If you become unable to express your wishes about your medical care or treatment and do not leave instructions regarding your wishes or name a person who will make decisions for you, a health care provider may ask your family or the courts to make decisions about your care and treatment.

Oral directions you have given to your doctor or those important to you will sometimes be followed by health care providers, depending on how detailed and recent those instructions were.

You may wish to tell your personal doctor and those important to you your wishes about future treatment, even if you choose not to sign an advance directive.

This is why it’s so important to have continuing discussions with those important to you. It can reduce anxiety and guilt they may experience when your wishes aren’t known.

No, it's your decision. A living will and power of attorney for healthcare will only help you have your wishes known and honored for the treatments you want or don’t want at the end of your life.

If your living will or power of attorney for healthcare is written in your state of residence, it may or may not be recognized in other states. The law varies from state to state.

Your doctor, hospital or a judge may use such documents to determine who will make decisions about your care and what those decisions will be.

If you have more questions about Horizon Planning and your advance care plan, please contact a Horizon Planning/Advance Care Planning Coordinator:

Eve Gardner, 717-812-2989 or egardner@wellspan.org
Candace Robinson, 717-812-2281 or crobinson3@wellspan.org

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Discussing Your Wishes with Others

Just as important as documenting your wishes for care is sharing those wishes with your loved ones, those important to you and your health care team.

Healthy York County Coalition

Healthy Adams County

Community Health Council Lebanon County

State Long Term Care Ombudsman

Pennsylvania Council on Aging